1. Pick when color is uniform and deep green
2. Thorns: "They will smooth down totally if you run your hands over the mighty cuke."
3. Harvest earlier rather than later. "Whatever you do - don't let them get yellow! That is the sure sign of an old, bitter cucumber... and who wants that? Not me, not in my cucumbers, or in my men!"
She said it! Who's to argue? I made a rather more freestyle cucumber sandwich (untoasted and with grape tomatoes) for lunch.